


Attack on Bakery

by trash_trio



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Fingering, Awkward Flirting, Baked Goods, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Coffee Shops, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Eruri Week, Explicit Sexual Content, Female Hange Zoë, Fluff and Crack, Hate at First Sight, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) and Cleaning, Levi and Erwin own bakeries, Levi has tattoos and piercings and a nice ass, Levi/Erwin centric, Masturbation, Multi, Phone Sex, Punk, Punk!Levi, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Swearing, but also lust, caffeine addicted Levi, eruri - Freeform, punk bakery AU, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:29:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2261118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash_trio/pseuds/trash_trio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is the hot, grumpy owner of the extremely popular punk themed Titan Bakery (we're talking like Hot Topic selling scones instead of skinny jeans).</p><p>He's successful, likes his job, and has time enough to focus on his other passion in life: his punk band, "My 104th Mistake" . </p><p>Until of course, a tall blonde man by the name of Erwin Smith sets up shop right next door, begins stealing his customers, and distracting him from the most important aspect of the job: cleaning up the shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here you go, friend, have a chapter. I've been bouncing this idea for an AoT fic around in my head and this piece of trash came out.
> 
> I really liked the idea of a punk Levi owning cats and baking cupcakes for a living, fight me.
> 
> Updates will happen every week or so and you get to meet Erwin next chapter!

_Sind Sie das Essen?_ _Nein, wir sind der Jäger!_

"Ughhhh....." Levi groaned, his hand reaching up through his blankets to slam the alarm on his bedside table. The song stopped abruptly. " 'S way to fucking early." Fighting the urge to fall back against the warm blankets, Levi pulled himself up and stretched, grumbling at the heavy pull of sleep in his limbs.

The smell of dark roast coffee began wafting from the kitchen and into his bedroom. Thank God for automatic coffee machines. Levi stood and walked slowly into the kitchen, yawning almost indignantly as he did so. Despite working in an industry that required him to wake up before the sun fucking got its ass out of bed, he was _not_ a morning person. Or an afternoon person. Or an any-time-before-six-at-night person. As he entered the kitchen, Levi glanced at the clock on the counter. The red digital numbers read 3:05 a.m. 

Levi shivered, rubbing his arms slightly to warm up. The heating was still broken in the apartment and anywhere outside of his bed was freezing. Unfortunately, the shitty place was all that he could afford. Stupid fucking economy.

 Levi yawned again as he sat next to his coffeemaker, waiting for the hot water to finish brewing the hot, caffeinated beverage. He stretched his neck and shoulders, smirking slightly in satisfaction when his spine gave a loud crack and released the tension he had held. For good measure, he cracked his knuckles as well, a habit that Hange had been trying to make him stop for years. 

 Levi’s phone buzzed at that moment and interrupted his train of thought. Frowning, he looked down. _Speak of the devil._

<shitty/glasses>: HEY ARE YOU AWAKE YET?

            <Levi>: I thought I told you not to talk to me this early in the morning, idiot.

            <shitty/glasses>: Yeah, but that’s because sometimes you sleep late. Which you shouldn't do.

            <Levi>: What do you want?

            <shitty/glasses>: Are you almost ready?! I'm at the bakery.

            <Levi>: My coffeemaker just finished brewing. I’m in pajamas.

            <Levi>: It's an hour before I have to be there. What do you think?

            <shitty/glasses>: Leviii, you sound scary even over text!

            <Levi>: I’ll get to there on time, no earlier. Why the fuck are you so excited?

            <shitty/glasses>: No reason…

            <shitty/glasses>: I guess it will be a surprise for you.

            <Levi>: I hate surprises.

            <shitty/glasses>: Too late. See you in an hour.

 Levi sighed heavily and poured himself a cup of coffee, sighing in satisfaction as he took the first sip, the rich aroma overwhelming his senses. He looked around his bare, cool apartment as he took another sip of the bitter brew. _Something was missing._

 _“_ Meow.” _Annddd, there it was._

“Colossal, there you are.” Levi said, staring impassively at the big ginger and white cat at his feet. “Where’s Armor?”

There was another meow and another cat appeared, the silvery striped cat looking at him with blue eyes that reflected Levi’s impassiveness. Colossal began weaving in between Levi’s ankles, purring loudly. Armor stayed where he was, staring at the cupboard above Levi’s head pointedly.

“You only ever bug me for food, don’t you Armor? I’m nothing more than a charity house you gives you fucking tuna.”

“Meow.” Armor replied. Levi sighed and shifted, stepping over Colossal to the cupboard to pull down a can of cat food. Levi’s phone buzzed again as he bent down to feed the hungry felines in front of him. Swearing under his breath, Levi stood up and grabbed his phone, spilling coffee on his plaid pajama bottoms in the process.

           <mikasa/samename>: I don’t want to bother and I’m sure Hange has already texted you.

           <mikasa/samename>: You really are going to be pissed when you get here.

           <Levi>: What did she do?

           <mikasa/samename>: She’s actually not to blame this time.

           <Levi>: What the fuck is going on?

           <mikasa/samename>: You’ll see when you get down here.

That settled it. It was one thing if Hange, his obnoxious friend who followed him like a lost puppy was wanting his attention on an issue, but it was another if his quiet, reliable employee was trying to warn him about it.

Growling softly in frustration, Levi stepped over his cats, giving a moment’s pause to scratch Armor behind the ears before going into the bathroom to shower.

Levi examined his appearance critically in the mirror as he peeled off his shirt. His short black hair was rumpled slightly and his silvery gray eyes were still bleary from a lack of sleep, but all together, his appearance could have been worse. His fingers traced the tattoos along his biceps and lean chest muscles, the black lines twirling elegantly over his skin. He’d had them for over seven years and hadn’t regretted it to the day.

 Turning on the faucet, Levi splashed himself with water, wincing at the bracing feeling of the ice cold water hit him. He brushed his teeth in haste after that, the mity flavor burning his mouth as he did so. 

Levi tried to shower more slowly, letting the steamy water wash over his body in rivulets as the soap was rinsed from him, but he found himself in an anxious, jumpy mood. Uncharacteristic of him.

He was still preoccupied with Hange’s and Mikasa’s texts. Exiting the shower, he checked his phone again.

            <shitty/glasses>: Hurry up and get over here Levi. You’re missing it!

  _Missing what?_ Levi thought irritably, toweling off his wet hair and fingering the opening of the gauges in his ears as he did so. Yawning again (he still hadn’t had enough coffee to stay fully awake), Levi went into his bedroom and hurriedly pulled on a pair of gray skinny jeans and a tight black shirt with a picture of The Clash on it. Glancing out at the cloudy sky, he paused for a moment before throwing on a leather jacket and pulling on his combat boots. 

Without pausing to look at his reflection again and just hoping his hair had some semblance of neatness, he downed the contents of his mug and stepped out the door, fumbling with his keys to lock the door. He could already tell it was going to be a shitty day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets a cute stranger in the rain. Cute romantic comedy things happen. Little does Levi know that a storm is coming...

To make the day even shittier, it began raining as soon as Levi set foot out of his apartment.

“Fucking great,” Levi said under his breath, pulling his jacket closer as the rain began splattering on the sidewalks. The sun still had not risen yet, and as Levi walked down the block, the streetlight bounced golden light off of the glistening puddles of water in the street. It would have been poetic had he not been fucking freezing.

 Levi grumbled internally as he kept walking. He would have liked to have a car, but the city’s parking and gas prices were way more than he could afford. He was an idiot for majoring in music in college, now his student loans were going to chase him to the grave. Yawning, Levi dug in his pocket, sighing in relief. As shitty as his day was turning out, at least he hadn’t forgotten his ipod. Zipping up his jacket, Levi flicked through his songs, turning the music device on shuffle and flicking up the volume so loud he could barely hear the rain splashing loudly around him.

              _I met you in No Man’s Land_

_Across the wire we were holding hands_

_Hearts a-bubble in the rubble_

_It was love at bomb site_

Despite the discomfort of water trickling through his hair and the feeling of wetness seeping through the legs of his jeans, Levi had to admit that the rain around them made everything strangely peaceful and lovely. The streets were nearly abandoned at the early hours of the morning, and the sidewalks glittered in the darkness. The trees looked like they had leaves made of crystals.

 Continuing his walk, Levi looked down as he walked, watching the sidewalk. Ahead of him, rain splashed into a puddle, causing lazy ripples to move through the water lapping near Levi’s toes.

 “Oh! Excuse me!” Levi felt a bump on his shoulder and a deep voice interrupted from the peaceful scene around Levi. Levi looked up from the ground. A man stood in front of him, almost towering over Levi’s short frame. Levi looked up from the ground, looking at the man in front of him almost critically.

 The first thing that Levi noticed about the man was his eyes. It was a fucking cliché, but the man had the bluest eyes he had ever seen. It wasn’t like the dumb, eyes-as-blue-as-the-ocean stereotype, though, it was an icy, sharp fierce blue that made Levi want to shiver. 

_All you give me is barbed wire love_

_All caught up in barbed wire love_

_Tangled up in barbed wire love_

_Throw my leg over barbed wire love_

_Barbed wire love snags my jeans_

_Barbed wire love_

Levi cursed internally as the lyrics of the love song hit his brain and he realized how attractive the man in front of him was. The drum beats thrummed in his eardrum as the two men stood there, the blond man blocking Levi’s path.

“Sorry.” Levi said shortly. The man smiled warmly and Levi felt his cheeks heat up as he realized how close they were to one another. He shifted slightly to turn down the volume on his ipod.

 “Oh no, I wasn’t paying attention.” The man in front of him smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervous. Levi bit his lip as the man did so, feeling a faint urge to run his fingers through the man’s hair. He squashed the feeling immediately, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. The lyrics to the song he was listening to continued, playing softly into his ears.

            _When I fell it was awful nice_

_Caught when not suspecting vice_

_The night was rife with wasteland life_

_You set my arm alight_

“It’s fine,” Levi said finally, after thinking for a moment about how to respond to the man in front of him.

 “I—I’m sorry, but do you think you could actually help me find Maria Street? I just moved here and I really have no idea how to get there.” The man cocked an eyebrow at Levi, looking at him up and down for what seemed to Levi like it was a moment too long.

“It’s up two blocks. If you’re going into the shopping district, you’ll want to turn left.”

 “How did you know I wanted to go into the shopping district?” The man said. Levi looked up at him, slightly irritated that the man hadn’t moved from his path.

              _All you give me is barbed wire love_

_All caught up in barbed wire love_

_Tangled up in barbed wire love_

_Throw my leg over barbed wire love_

_Barbed wire love snags my jeans_

_Barbed wire love_

“If you were a stranger roaming the streets at three in the morning to go into the residential neighborhood, you wouldn’t ask someone for directions. I assume you own a shop and need to be there before opening, as you seem a bit old to be hanging out with some group of brats in a club until morning.”

 “You think I’m old?” The man smiled dangerously, his eyes glittering. Levi looked at him, trying to keep his expression from betraying his thoughts. The man must have been flirting. It seemed psychologically and emotionally _impossible_ for him to be doing anything otherwise.

“I’m surprised you aren’t in a wheelchair.” Levi finally said, staring at him impassively. The two men began to walk. “I’m going toward Maria Street at the corner of Rose Street, I can walk you there.”

“My business is located near Rose,” the man mused. “I’m Erwin, by the way.”

“What kind of person doesn’t know where their own business is?” Levi said.

“The kind that wants to walk with a cute stranger?” Erwin offered, winking at Levi. Levi rolled his eyes and frowned.

_Blasted by your booby traps_

_I felt the blow in both kneecaps_

_Your eyes did shine, your lips were fine_

_And the device in your pants was out of sight_

 “I’ve barely had my damn coffee and you want to fucking hit on me?” Levi sighed, sounding frustrated. Erwin’s lips twitched.

 “Ah, sorry if I was misreading the situation.”

“You weren’t, you fucking idiot,” Levi replied, kicking at a pebble in his path and refusing to make eye contact with the stranger.

“Then I can buy you coffee sometime?” Erwin winked at Levi again.

 “Fine.” Levi said.

“You could sound more alive about it, you know.” Erwin smiled as they approached Maria Street.

“Shut up.” Levi replied.

               _All you give me is barbed wire love_

_All caught up in barbed wire love_

_Tangled up in barbed wire love_

_Throw my leg over barbed wire love_

_Barbed wire love snags my jeans_

_Barbed wire love_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics in this chapter are from "Barbed Wire Love" by the Irish punk band Stiff Little Fingers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi confronts Hange at the shop and gets dried off. Hange seems uncharacteristically nervous... could it be that this "serious thing" is actually something to worry about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make Levi a caffeine deprived little shit just like I am. There's not really much plot in this chapter, but it was late and I felt like updating. This chapter is mostly exposition about Levi's shop and a peek at Hange's character, because OMFG I am pretty much Levi's attitude and Hange's passion for intellectualism put together so I love them both so much and want to thoroughly explore their characters.
> 
> Sorry if you don't like it! It will be more plot heavy in the next chapter, with Hange confessing what she knows and Levi finding out about the terrible thing.
> 
> Also I am aware that Hange is canonically non-binary and I really love the fact that she is because we need non-binary representation in the media, but writing gender-neutral fiction in English in a way that sounds natural is something that I have not yet accomplished, and I don't want to distract from my writing.

“What’s the big fucking deal?” Levi said as soon as he entered Titan Bakery. Hange looked up from behind one of the tables where she had been napping, her eyes opening wide in surprise and excitement as she saw him.

Sighing and waiting for Hange to start yammering, Levi let his eyes wander over the shop, looking for signs of dirt. Eren had cleaned up shop last night, and of all the cashiers, Levi trusted him with that duty the least.

The bakery had come into Levi’s possession two years ago. The lease had been a discount given to him by city councilman Pixis in order to stimulate local business in the shopping district, and Levi had taken it, partially out of curiosity about owning a shop and partially due to the fact that no one was hiring music majors at the time.

The place had changed radically since the place had come to be owned by Levi. His idea to have a bakery with a punk aesthetic had been considered a somewhat illogical business step by many of his friends, but the youth in the city had all loved the concept, and the bakery had grown in popularity as he began to develop the place into what he had envisioned when he had taken the lease.

“…Levi? Are you paying attention?” Hange asked. “I’m trying to talk about the chemical properties of lemon buttercream frosting.”

Levi’s eyes snapped toward Hange before grumbling a response of affirmation, his eyes continuing to survey the dark red walls for signs of cobwebs and the black tiled floor for signs of dirt. However, the floor seemed to shine dimly in the light of the Victorian era lamps the sat in the corners of the shop and the harsh lighting of the kitchens in the back of the shop. It seemed as though Eren hadn’t done such a bad job after all.

“…so I said that the butter was essentially just dead fat cells made from adipose connective tissue of a cow and that she had no right to want to hoard the stuff just because she needed to make scones. Anyway, Levi, did you get my texts this morning?”

“Yes, Hange I did. What the fuck is going on?” Levi wandered through the back room of the bakery and into his office, Hange following him, bouncing and muttering under her breath about the various ideas she had about the potential of beef-flavored coffee cake.

Many things could be said about Levi’s office (and many things were said… Eren had called it “the dungeon” on more than one occasion) but the two things that could not be said about his office were that it was boring or messy. A large, antique-looking wooden desk sat in the back of the room with a small IKEA lamps lighting each end of it. On the walls above the desk hung posters of The Cure, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, and the Rolling Stones, along with Levi’s pride and joy; his dark, midnight blue electric guitar that he had gotten as a teenager when he had first entered that shithole they called high school.

Levi looked up at the guitar with a slight smile before his face returned to its normal scowl. He stepped behind his desk, searching for the bag of coffee that he kept hidden in the bottom drawer of the old cherry wood desk. Grabbing at it and smelling the familiar scent of French roast, he opened the cabinet next to the drawer in search of coffee filters.

“Hange, you never answered my question. Why the hell did you feel the need to break the one rule of our friendship?”

“I didn’t do flaming sambuca shots off of your stomach,” Hange replied, laughing nervously. Levi sighed.

“You texted me before I got to work. When it wasn’t an emergency,” Levi growled. “I’m not in the mood for jokes, Hange.”

“It was kind of an emergency… at the time. I mean, I can see that I might have overreacted to it and I didn’t want you to overreact to it, so I just decided to… you know, stay quiet and explore the possibility of making vegan cookies that taste like bacon.”

“Jesus Christ, let me make some fucking coffee and then we’ll talk. I didn’t get to finish my pot, you had me in such a hurry this morning. And if you don’t tell me what happened, I will fire you.” 

"Levi, don't joke about these things... you're joking right? Levi?! LEVI!!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hange fiddled with her thumbs nervously from across the desk as Levi sat broodingly across from her. He had shed his jacket and his mug of coffee rested between his hands. 

He lifted his mug irritably, his fingers gripping the top of the mug and tipping it back, sipping. Hange sighed, her fidgeting increasing as she bit her lip and drummed her fingers on the desk.

“Hange, I swear to God if you don’t stop fidgeting I will personally kick your ass so hard you’ll still be feeling my boot in your rectum three months from now.” Levi snapped. Hange stopped fidgeting and gave him a long stare. Levi sighed and his gaze softened slightly as he looked at her. “What’s going on?”

 “Okay, so you know how Pixis gave us the shop’s lease with a low interest rate loan because the shopping district needs more shops?”

 “Yes,” Levi said impassively to Hange. “What about it?”

 “Well…I…” Hange drifted off and bit her lip. “Maybe it will be like mutually assured destruction and we’ll never actually fight them but just sort of build power against each other because we’ll both be too afraid to use our power against one another.”

 “Whenever you start talking about international political theory potentially involving the annihilation of thousands of people, I start getting worried. Slow down. _What_ exactly is happening that is making you so upset?”

 “Right.” Hange took a deep breath. “Did you happen to see the new sign up from across the street at the old shop that no one ever bothered to want to move into?”

 “No,” Levi said shortly. He never looked up when he was walking—he might accidentally make eye contact with some brat who wanted to start a conversation.

“Well, there’s a new sign up. For a cupcake shop opening in the next few weeks.” Hange blurted, looking down at her hands.

“What.” Levi said blankly, looking at Hange disbelievingly.

 “I… well, when Mikasa and I got here early to open, Mikasa pointed out that there were two men leaving the shop across the street and that a new sign was up. And I mean, the sign being put up was so sudden that neither of us really knew what was going on.”

 “And?” Levi asked, drumming his fingers on the desk rapidly, as trying to tightly control his movements.

 “And… and so Mikasa asked the men who had put up the sign up in the night, and they told us this place, Cadet Cupcake Café, was opening up within the next two weeks.”

“Really,” Levi said coldly, frowning at the revelation and sneering under his breath. He could feel his stomach clenching into a knot as thoughts of losing customers ran through his head. One of the reasons their business was successful was because their location had so few eateries in the first place. A new place opening—and a bakery, of all things—hardly boded well.

“Yeah,” Hange said. “They said the owner is trying to open the place as quickly as possible.

“The name of it doesn’t even make sense,” Levi raged. Irritated, he slammed his hands down on the desk, shaking the desk and causing a bit of coffee to splash over the rim of his cup. Hange sighed at the outburst and frowned.

“I said the same thing,” Hange said, her voice from shaky to soothing in an instant as she saw how irritable Levi was getting.

“I’ve got to see this madness for myself,” Levi growled, standing up abruptly and kicking his chair out of the way, stalking around the desk and walking out of the door and exiting the bakery. Hange stood and followed closely behind him.

Levi stared across the dark street. The sunrise still hours away and the rain continued to come down hard of the pavement, splashing him and soaking through his t-shirt. Instead of seeming poetic, now the rain simply seemed gloomy.

Hange was right. There was a new sign up, and Levi cursed himself for not noticing it sooner. The sign spelled out Cadet Cupcake Café across the top of the empty shop in big pink and white curlicues. In the shop window, a large cardboard sign read, “coming soon”.

Levi had never noticed it until then, but the shop was nicer than he’d care to admit. Even in the darkness, Levi could tell the place would have good natural lighting, and the shop window was even bigger than theirs. The potential for them was huge; Levi could see it now, tiers of cupcakes in rainbow colors in the front window, frosting piped carefully in delicate patterns with pearled sugar beads sprinkled across the top with a lace of spun sugar.

 _Fucking typical,_ Levi thought, staring at the shop. _Of course they would decide to open a fucking pink and white, princess and soccer mom cupcake shop. Of course they would try and get a demographic shift in the area. Of course they would._

“Levi?” Hange’s voice brought him out of his reverie. He had been standing in the rain too long for comfort, and his shirt was soaked through (giving the reader a convenient look at his abs).

“Right,” Levi said quietly, turning back to her and staring at her moodily. “Let’s go inside. We have work to do."

Hange bit her lip nervously at his tone. _This was going to end badly_ , she thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. I am trash and I didn't update for close to ten days. Sowwy. Anyway, have some unnecessary descriptions of baked goods. I got hungry just writing this.
> 
> (If someone buys me an ameretto French meringue with dark chocolate ganache frosting, I might write and edit this fic more quickly. Just a thought...)

Mikasa and Ymir both knew better to greet Levi that morning. Jean didn’t usually bother asking him about his day, and as per usual, ignored him as best possible. Only Eren was dumb enough to ask him about his morning, and the death glare that Levi shut him up almost immediately.

The rest of the morning before opening was similarly shitty. Jean was late arriving to the bakery, and had he not shown Levi photographic proof on his phone that his car tire had gotten a flat, Levi would have fired him then and there. Ymir burned a batch of scones, leaving the kitchens smelling like burnt hair and the bakery about twenty scones short. Hange was still hyperaware of Levi’s reactions to everything, and as a result, was making careful efforts to avoid the topic of the place across the street. Eren was… being a shitty brat as usual, bouncing about with annoying energy and chatting with Mikasa, whose face was a mixture of smiles and cringes as she listened to him speak.

Baking in an industrial kitchen was an ordeal for all involved. The amount of cooking supplies was obscene, the time it took even more so. The Titan Bakery operated on a strict system for the creation of its goods. Everything was handmade in small batches—batches ranging from twenty to thirty servings. It meant that mornings in the bakery were hectic, intense, and filled with cinnamon. 

So far, they had managed the cupcakes and full size cakes, the meringues and danishes, and the cookies. There was still the ordeal of crafting the biscotti and croissants. Plus, they had gotten behind schedule in terms of frosting the goods. The large vats of dark chocolate fudge frosting and orange vanilla lay on the counter, almost staring at Levi as if to mock him.

“Can you get me another bag of flour?” Ymir yelled across the kitchen to Mikasa, breaking Levi out of his reverie. Mikasa nodded and went into the pantry in the back of the harshly-lit kitchen to retrieve it. 

Levi sipped his coffee as Mikasa hefted a large sack of flour and brought it over to Ymir, dropping it on the counter with a resounding thud. Hange looked up from the opposite counter, holding a bottle of orange extract in one hand and a square of baking chocolate in the other. 

“It’s about six,” Hange said as she looked back down at her watch. Levi gave another huge sigh.

“That’s just fucking wonderful. On top of gaining competition, we’re running an hour behind. I hope you are all prepared to bake overtime during the lunch rush. Especially you, Jean, I don’t care about the bullshit with your car. And you, Eren! You’d better fucking be prepared to work through your break, don’t think I didn’t notice you texting under the counter instead of beating egg whites for amaretto meringues.”

Eren and Jean both muttered quietly under their breaths in affirmation to Levi. Jean, the boy with the two-toned hair and hazel eyes sighed a bit but nodded, cowering slightly under Levi’s expression.

“We are fortunate enough to have the easiest things for last. But so help me God, if I don’t see forty croissants coming glistening from that oven in fifteen minutes then I know we’re fucked. Ymir, get on that. The rest of you, frosting. Salted caramel, pistachio, orange vanilla, and dark chocolate for the chocolate cupcakes, lavender, rose, and lemon curd for the vanilla ones. Orange vanilla and chocolate for the cookies, chocolate and almond for the French meringues. Cream cheese drizzle for the cinnamon rolls and berry danishes. Are we clear?”

The group in front of him nodded, Eren straightening his dark blue shirt and nodding, his bright turquoise eyes focused on Levi. Mikasa simply flicked a strand of her black hair away from her stormy gray eyes and turned to the refrigerator and retrieving the bowls of frosting that Levi had at least has the foresight to make the night before. 

Levi wandered into the front of the shop, leaving his bakers scrambling to spread frosting over everything in the kitchen containing gluten. He flicked on the front lights behind the bakery counter and took out the empty trays and plates from behind the shiny glass. Levi smirked at his reflection in spite of himself. The glass was clear enough to use as a mirror to apply eyeliner. Levi would know—he had done it before.

Levi turned on the light inside of the glass case for the baked goods, and the re-tinged light flickered to light, bathing the room in a dark red light that reminded anyone who passed by of blood. The red light cast itself over the dark walls and illuminated the paintings that Levi had kept on the walls.

The name for Titan Bakery had come from one of Levi’s old friends in high school and her obsession with the titans of Greek mythology. She’d shown him pictures of them and he’s been fascinated, the huge, ugly creatures roaring and battling gods as though they were made from origami paper. There was a lot of blood. The paintings on his walls were all of titans. There was Cronus, Oceanus, Iapetus, Mnemosyne, Theia. 

The paintings of the titans on the walls were a different kind of titan. They were from an artist who went by Shinganshina, Levi recalled. Eren had said that he’d know the woman long ago. These titans were of a whole different kind. She painted them as huge and gruesome, eating people as though they were potato chips. The central subject never had skin, Levi had noticed first thing. They weren’t human enough for it, they were like animals—made of nothing but muscle and sinew and tendon. The paintings held a special place in his heart.

Which was why it had shocked him when the pretty blond man by the name of Erwin came in that morning at eight to offer to buy them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi have a real conversation and Levi begins to realize just how fucked he is in terms of talking to this guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy guess who is trash and has put off updating? (HINT: it's me). Here's another chapter, things are beginning to take off. 
> 
> Some fair warning, next chapter we're going to be see the rating of this thing go up from T to E, I'm going to start including sex scenes, masturbation scenes, and just in general some kinky stuff. Stay tuned if you like that stuff, but be warned.

“They aren’t for sale.” Levi said flatly, looking at the man with a dead-eyed expression. _Fuck, he was hot._  

In the better lighting of the shop, Levi could see his face closer and he was not disappointed. The dark, street-lit sidewalks had failed to show his chiseled jawline and cheekbones, failed to outline the muscle that he could now see faint traces of muscle under Erwin’s shirt under his unbuttoned coat. His hair was still wet from his walk and combed back, giving Levi a view of his features that was so good Levi had to wonder if Erwin was doing it on purpose.

“That’s a shame,” Erwin said, frowning. “Ah well, no matter. It’s _very_ nice to see you again. Didn’t think I would. I never actually got your number, didn’t realize it till you’d already left.”

“I don’t give my number to strangers,” Levi replied. “If you want to talk, I’ll call you." 

“If you insist,” Erwin said, leaning forward and sliding a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like a business card across the counter. Erwin smelled nice, like pine trees and natural musk with a hint of spice that Levi couldn’t quite place. Levi pocketed the business card without a second glance. “Are you sure these pieces aren’t for sale? I absolutely love the way that they’re so… gruesome. Like the monsters are only the components of all their parts, nothing more. It’s dehumanizing in the eeriest way possible.”

“That’s…” Levi drifted off. _That was what he’d noticed about the paintings as well when he’d first seen them._ “That’s interesting. Nevertheless, they aren’t for sale." 

“Do you have contact information for the artist?” Erwin inquired, leaning on the counter almost too close to Levi’s face and giving him a slight up and down look. Levi swallowed and made a mental note to save that image for when he was alone.

“She died,” Levi said after a moment of silence. “Her boyfriend killed her when he found out about her paintings.”

“I… I’m so sorry.” Erwin said, his face changing from flirtatious to somber in a split second. Strangely, he looked even more attractive wearing the somber face.

“She told me once that the paintings were based off of him,” Levi said. “He found that out when he found them. She told him that when he got angry it just seemed like he became a monster. Her name was Sheena Shingan.” _I should not be telling him this._

“They’re beautiful,” Erwin said simply after a long pause. He hadn’t known what to say to him, Levi noticed. But he had settled on the perfect thing.

 “Do you want a cup of coffee or something?” Levi asked, looking at Erwin with a mixture of grudging acceptance and lust that belied the sexual tension of the situation. Erwin nodded slowly. Erwin’s eyes were _so_ blue, Levi noticed as he looked at Erwin, the color of a stormy blue-gray ocean. Levi cursed the fact that customers were in the shop eating, otherwise he would have grabbed Erwin and… well, tried to make him as excited as possible.

 Frowning slightly to disguise the fluttering in his chest (Jesus Christ, was that a fucking cliché), Levi turned to the coffee machine behind him, flipping up the tap and letting coffee flow into a cup. The black liquid steamed up, creating a warm, aromatic scent. It smelled almost as good as Erwin.

Levi slid the cup toward Erwin, who was already reaching for his wallet in the back pocket of the jeans that fit him almost too well. Levi looked at him through the wisps of his black hair before sighing and pushing them out of his face.

“It’s fine, it’s free,” Levi said, waving a hand at Erwin. Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed.

 “No it’s not, I promised you a cup of coffee and now you’re giving me one. I now owe you two cups of coffee. Or lunch. Or maybe dinner, if you want. Call me.” Erwin smiled, the corner of his mouth rising in a half-smirk that Levi couldn’t decide whether or not it was condescending or heartfelt.

 “Do you want to owe me a scone as well or something?” Levi asked, gesturing under the glass. _Why was he being so nice to this guy? Was it because he was hot or was it something more? He wasn’t nice to all hot people, was he?_

“Thanks, I’m fine… wow.” Erwin looked more closely at the baked goods behind the glass. “This place really is die-hard punk rock and goth. How do you get your baked goods those colors?”

“Bamboo charcoal,” Levi said, following Erwin’s gaze. Erwin was staring at the pitch-black color of a vanilla cupcake topped with red blood-orange frosting. Titan Bakery was famous for using it. It let all their baked goods look pitch black when they mixed the charcoal into the flour—and they still tasted fucking phenomenal. Truly punk rock, as Erwin had said. 

“That’s incredible,” Erwin said. “The owner of this place must be a genius.”

“He is,” Levi said, giving Erwin a smirk. _Did he think that Levi was just the barista?_

“Must be, to have cute baristas with good taste in music.” Erwin looked at Levi. He was still wearing that smile on his face in the midst of an ever-present sense of calm around him.

“How do you know my music taste?” Levi asked, raising an eyebrow. Erwin gave a pointed look to Levi’s shirt. _Fuck._

Levi’s shirt was still damp from having stood in the rain too long, and though much of the water had dried up, the shirt was still wet enough to cling to his torso, revealing the outlines of his muscles. From the appreciative glint in Erwin’s eyes, he had been looking for a bit too long, and the picture of The Clash on the front wasn’t what he was looking at.

 A group of boys entered the shop as Erwin gave Levi the up and down, momentarily distracting Levi from the tall, blonde man.

“Hello!” The shortest one, a thin blonde boy asked. Levi noticed with some sort of irrational annoyance that he was holding the hand of the tall, blue-haired boy next to him, who wore bright red glasses and an expression of calm that seemed to rival Mikasa’s. Two other boys, a tall brunette with green eyes and a stoic-looking black haired kid with sky blue eyes, stood behind them. “We’re here to pick up an order for our swim team? The name is Nagisa.”

“Are you the kids who got the animals designed on them with frosting?” Levi asked, looking at the boys. The blonde boy, Nagisa, nodded.

“The whale, the dolphin, the butterfly, and the penguin!” The boy said. Levi nodded.

“Wait a minute, I’ll get them from the back.”

Levi wandered to the back of the store to grab their order and give it to them. But by the time he had rung them up and they had paid, the black-haired boy muttering something about a Rubix cube under his breath, Erwin had left the shop, leaving on the bar nothing but  little slip of paper with a heart on it that said “call me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy did you get my references to other animes? Yes? No? Maybe?
> 
> TBH I probably will reference my favorite anime in this besides AoT in this w/ Free!, DMMD, Haikyuu!!, etc. 
> 
> I hope your okay with that!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *arrives 3 months late with Starbucks*
> 
> Hey, how are all of you? I haven't updated in a while because I've been busy with college things and scholarships and I also have 2 other active fics and a headcanon blog to run. Now that school is dying back down, I should be able to update more. Sorry if I've kept you waiting for too long!

The shop emptied slowly at the end of the day, a couple of stray teenagers filing out slowly at closing time. They scowled at Levi’s glare but left quietly, one of them putting some money in the tip jar with a smirk.

Levi rolled his eyes at the teens and shut the door behind them, flipping the sign behind them. 

“Mikasa. You’re closing tonight, correct?” Levi asked, brushing his hair away from his eyes and looking at the quiet, gray-eyed girl.

“Yes, Levi.” She replied. “I’m keeping Eren to help.” Eren looked like he was going to protest, but any words he had on the subject died on his tongue when Mikasa looked at him.

“Fine.” Levi said. “I’m taking off and going home. Today was shitty, make tomorrow better.” He left the store before anyone had a chance to say anything to the contrary. Ymir and Hange watched him leave with bemused expressions and Jean scoffed. As soon as Levi stepped into the street, he sighed and stared at the big, curlicue letters across the street.

“Oh, fuck you,” he said bitterly to the store, which of course remained silent because it was inanimate. Tightening his jacket around him as he left, he began to walk home. The rain had left in favor of fog, and the streetlights made everything in Levi’s path look murky. He stomped through a puddle and tried to distract himself from the cupcake shop. In his pocket, his fingers brushed over the piece of paper that Erwin had given him. he felt his face warm as he felt it and immediately tried to shove the blond man from his mind. So he had met someone hot today. Big fucking deal, didn’t mean his restaurant wasn’t going to fail.

Levi got home some time later after walking through the fog and kicking nearly everything possible in his path. Kicking off his shoes by the door, Levi threw his jacket on the couch and went into his room to change. Armor came up to him and purred, weaving through his legs. Levi looked down impassively before bending down to pet the cat. His worries for the moment disappeared.

After changing into a Joy Division shirt and sweatpants, Levi wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to make. Of course in all the excitement over another business ruining his fucking life, he had forgotten to go grocery shopping. Sighing, he went to the phone to waste his paycheck on Chinese delivery.

“Kung pao chicken—extra spicy—with white rice and scallion pancakes. And can you also bring chili sauce and an order of chicken egg rolls with sour plum sauce. The address is 1125 Trost Street. Yeah, it’s the apartment building. Apartment number 104. Thanks.” Levi hung up and fell onto the couch, flipping on the television and clicking through the channels until he finally decided on watching the Daily Show. His thoughts drifted back slowly to Erwin.

Erwin, with his stunning blue eyes and blonde hair and strong build, looking like Captain America on steroids. Erwin, with his devilish smile. Erwin, who would look phenomenal trapped underneath Levi with lust-filled eyes and hickeys trailing down his neck and across his chest.

 _Where the fuck did that last thought come from?_ Levi wondered, raising an eyebrow. By this time, the television was just background noise. _I wonder what his moans would sound like…_

Levi could almost hear the deep, rich sound of his moan and could feel himself harden at the thought. Biting his lip and checking to see if his cats were in the room, (because who the fuck wants to jack off in front of their cats?) he let a hand slip down into his sweatpants and palm roughly at his cock.

“Hmm…” he let himself sigh, his eyes fluttering closed as he thought of the blond sex god in front of him.

_Erwin was in front of him and his hands were tied to the headboard. He was blindfolded and his mouth was open, gasping. He was wearing a black cock ring. He looked absolutely fucking wrecked._

“Fuck,” Levi muttered under his breath. He licked a stripe down the palm of his hand and began to stroke himself faster.

_Erwin, begging for his cock from his position on the bed, moaning for Levi to let him come. Levi, bending over him and swallowing his cock until Erwin was just about to come before pulling off with a smirk.  Erwin, groaning for Levi to fuck him._

“Oh God,” Levi whispered. It felt so good, so much better than the usual “watching-porn-then-falling-asleep” method he used. He twisted his wrist and bit back a moan.

  _Levi lowering himself on Erwin’s giant and throbbing cock and moving, watching Erwin’s face screw up in pleasure and whimpering. Levi finally letting Erwin come with a loud moan of pleasure and almost convulsing because of oversensitivity. Levi shoving his cock into Erwin’s mouth and face-fucking him…_

“Hahh—ah!” Levi came, biting the back of his hand to stifle the loud moan that threatened to erupt from his mouth. As soon as he did, he looked down at his hand in disgust. It was at that moment that the doorbell rang. Delivery was here.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Monty Oum (1981-2015). You were an incredible animator and you are a huge influence in my life. I hope to one day have the work ethic that you had. I will never forget the amount of inspiration that you have given me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics used were from "Baby, I'm an anarchist" by Against Me!  
>  10/10 would recommend.

_Through the best of times,_

_Through the worst of times,_

_Through Nixon and through Bush_

_Do you remember ’36?_

 

“Good morning.”

 

_We went our separate ways_

_You fought for Stalin_

_I fought for freedom_

_You believe in authority_

_I believe in myself_

 

“Oh. It’s you again.”

 

_I’m a Molotov cocktail_

_You’re Dom Perignon_

_Baby, what’s that confused look in your eyes?_

_What I’m trying to say is that I burn down buildings_

_While you sit on a wall inside of them_

 

It was the same predicament as yesterday. The streetlights illuminated their walk together. The blond man—Levi could actually remember his name was Erwin, which pissed him off—smiled at him with the same disgustingly jovial smile he’d worn the other day. The dangerous glint in the corner of his eyes was still not gone though, and it sent a tiny shiver down Levi’s spine.

 

_You call the cops on the looter and piethrowers_

_They call it class war, I call it co-conspirators_

 

“You didn’t call me yesterday,” Erwin stated as they walked. It wasn’t raining that morning but the street was still bathed in darkness. Cars passed by them every once in a while, their headlights shining like diamonds. Levi looked at the blond walking next to him, biting his lip lightly as he realized how much Erwin towered above him and how strong he looked. _Those hands looked excellent for restraining wrists and tightening around necks…._

_‘Cause baby, I’m an anarchist_

_You’re a spineless liberal_

_We marched together for the eight-hour day_

_And held hands on the streets of Seattle_

_But when it came time to throw bricks through that Starbucks window_

_You left me all alone, all alone_

“Was I supposed to?” Levi said to interrupt his own thoughts before he popped a fucking boner in front of the blond. He raised a defiant eyebrow at the blond as he popped his headphones out. Erwin grinned.

 “You’re cute when you’re pissed off,” he said.

 “I’ll show you how fucking cute I am when I break your nose and have my boot up your ass,” Levi growled in reply, but with no real anger to his words.

“Let me buy you dinner before you show me what kind of ass play you’re into,” Erwin replied easily. Levi smirked.

“Maybe I want to skip dinner,” he said. Erwin stopped for a moment before stepping until he was chest to chest with Levi. The two men were standing underneath a fir tree, the fallen needles crushing under their feet. It smelled intoxicating, like a perfume had been sprayed over the scene.

“Are you flirting with me?” Erwin asked, his voice lowering and giving Levi a smug grin. Levi rolled his eyes, but Erwin stopped him by grabbing his face gently to stare into his eyes. Levi could feel his heart rate accelerating. Even for a mutual homosexual attraction, this was getting pretty gay.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Levi challenged, closing the gap between them so that their chests were touching. If they had been even close to the same height, their lips would be against each other’s.

“Are you asking me to do what I think you want me to do?” Erwin asked, placing a hand lightly on Levi’s hip. This time, Levi did roll his eyes and pulled his face from Erwin’s hand. Erwin looked momentarily disappointed before Levi tugged him down to meet his lips roughly.

The two men barely kissed for a moment before Levi pushed Erwin away and smirked, biting his lip teasingly and causing a dumbfounded expression to cross his face. Levi winked before leaving, walking briskly, and leaving Erwin underneath the pine tree with red, bitten lips and a semi in his pants. Levi basically ran back to Titan Bakery after that, hurrying past Erwin and trying to block out the feeling of his teeth tearing deliciously at Erwin’s soft and supple lips. 

“Morning,” Mikasa said calmly as Levi stormed into the bakery, slamming the door behind him. “You’re here a bit late.” Levi opened his mouth to snap at her before realizing that he was, in fact, about twenty minutes late. Irritably, he closed his mouth and rolled his eyes at her. That was quickly becoming his only expression, he realized bitterly as he entered his office. He desperately needed to calm down and ignore the bakery for a minute, ignore that motherfucker Erwin, and ignore the bakery opening across the street which could very well lead to a state of financial ruin for Titan Bakery.

 “Levi, there you are. It’s almost four, where were you?” Hange entered Levi’s office, her glasses slightly askew.

 “I got distracted on my way here,” Levi managed through gritted teeth, leaning back in his chair and taking a long sip of coffee.

“Right. Well, on the bright side we have all the regular things baking, but we were wondering about the special for the day….”

“Fuck,” Levi cursed. He had completely forgotten about it. “Uh, for spring, citrus and floral flavors are seasonal. Strawberries are also a possibility if we have any extra. We could do a cake with a honey base too, if we want to. Just throw something together, I trust you.”

“Well, that’s a first,” Hange said, smiling at him. She took a step to leave before waiting in the doorway. “Levi?”

“Yes?” Levi grumbled, taking another drink of coffee. 

“You can just sit in here for a little bit. We’re got the kitchen under control. Jean was actually here on time today, and Mikasa helped Ymir with the scones today so nothing burned. Listen to some music or something. Think about something constructive, even if things across the street seem a little… you know.”

 “Sure,” Levi said, dropping his grumpy tone and regarding Hange for a moment with his stormy grey eyes.

“Levi,” Hange paused. “I’m telling you this as a friend, but getting some perspective might be useful.” 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin have some late nights of paperwork and stress, and try to find a way to relieve their stress ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It was four cups of coffee, three cigarettes while shivering on the sidewalk outside, and a stress-induced cupcake binge later that Levi stopped working..."
> 
> This sentence may have come from an actual experience I have had. Don't go to college, kids.

“So can you tell me who owns the Cadet Cupcake Café?” Levi spoke into the phone receiver, sighing tiredly as he leaned back in his desk chair, staring at a poster of Joy Division on the wall across him with an irritated expression written across his face.

 “They person who owns it hasn’t opened their business to the public and didn’t lease it through the city,” Councilman Pixis replied just as tiredly to Levi. “And this is hardly my department, you should talk to planning and development.”

“I already did,” Levi said irritably, looking down at the piles of paperwork on his desk with a disgusted look on his face _._ “They were no help.”

“They probably weren’t any help because the city can’t help you with this,” Pixis said. Levi rolled his eyes to the ceiling with an exasperated look. “We have only the bits of information required for them to open, and those aren’t public record.

“Pixis, how many favors do you owe me again?” Levi snapped into the phone, kicking his feet against the desk in frustration.

 “You know I would tell you if I could,” Pixis replied, his voice tinged with sympathy. Levi frowned, and, after a moment of silence on the other end of the line, hung up the phone, turning to the monstrosity of numbers that was accounting books.

 “I should really hire a CPA,” Levi grumbled, shuffling through the papers and taking out the almost vintage-looking calculator from his desk.

Though the rest of Attack on Bakery’s business was technologically advanced compared to the majority of small businesses (many owned by those with graying hair and crow’s feet who still didn’t know what Tumblr was), Levi insisted on having paper copies of all financial transactions and shipping orders, after a rather unfortunate incident in college where his hard drive had been wiped by a virus after his roommate had downloaded an illegal file of Linkin Park’s “In The End.”

It was four cups of coffee, three cigarettes while shivering on the sidewalk outside, and a stress-induced cupcake binge later that Levi stopped working, tiredly propping his head up on his hands and sighing. All of the others had left hours ago. Levi was exhausted but still riding his caffeine high, too mentally tired to continue working, and too horny for his own good. It was almost shameful, but Levi found himself dialing the number on a little paper slip that Levi had embarrassingly already memorized.

 “Hello?” A deep voice inquired on the other end of the phone. Levi frowned. Erwin’s voice was unfairly smooth and suave on the other end, and his damn voice was only adding to his sexual frustration. 

“It’s Levi,” Levi answered, unsure of what to say and irritated at himself because of it. Levi was the sexually confident one, but the late hour of the night combined with the almost intimidating level of attractiveness that Erwin possessed had him feeling less than sexy.

“The cute barista,” Erwin said, sounding amused. “Finally decide to call me?”

“Yeah,” Levi said irritably, prompting Erwin to laugh on the other end of the line. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Why? Asking me out? That’s my job.” Erwin’s deep and almost commanding voice sent a pleasant shiver down Levi’s spine. Levi paused a second to collect his sexual frustration into a monotonous voice.

“No, don’t be stupid. I was just wondering,” Levi responded in a carefully constructed apathetic tone.

 “Hmm. Of course,” Erwin said. Levi could hear his smug smirk over the phone. “You were calling because you want to sleep with me.”

Levi didn’t bother to refute Erwin at this point. It had been a statement of fact, not a question.

“What if I was?” Levi finally said, his voice gaining an almost husky sound as he kicked his legs up on the desk and leaned back, twirling the phone cord in his slender fingers as he relaxed back into his chair.

“Are you sure you want to be teasing me like this, because if you are then be prepared to follow through with _everything_ I want to do to you,” Erwin’s voice had a warning tone in it, a deep and dark sound that had Levi biting his lip and looking down at the crotch of his jeans as if he was just waiting for the front of his pants to stiffen with the bulge of a clothed erection.

“Fuck, when can you come over?” Levi purred into the phone, not even bothering to keep his voice from sounding breathless.

“Unfortunately, I happen to be busy,” Erwin said into the phone, trying to keep the reluctance out of his voice. The muscular blond was at home, his feet propped on the coffee table as he looked over a pair of reading glasses at a set of building leases that he was working on. _Due tomorrow morning my ass,_ the tall blond thought irritably, settling back on his couch cushions as he heard grumbling on the other end of the line.

 “Whatever,” Levi replied, knowing that he sounded reluctant but almost too horny to care about it.

 “You really want to sleep with me, don’t you?” Erwin said into the phone, laughing at the indignant tsking from Levi on the other end of the line. And it was a question this time, an almost incredulous one that was surprise not about how Levi wanted to fuck him but about how blatant Levi was being about it.

 “If I say yes, will you come over to my place?” Levi asked, his voice turning sultry as he toyed with the phone cord.

“God damn,” Erwin muttered, feeling himself get aroused at the sound of Levi’s voice becoming sluttier by the second. “Where are you right now?”

Levi grinned and looked up at the ceiling, tightening his fingers around the cord.

“At home,” Levi lied smoothly, staring up and waiting for Erwin to inevitably suggest the inevitable. Levi was hardly confident in all aspects of his life, but he knew when I guy asked that over the phone it was because he thought the black-haired man was hot and wanted to talk dirty.

“Right,” Erwin said, his voice dropping into a husky tone that mirrored Levi’s. “And why are you so desperate for my attention tonight?”

“I’m horny as fuck,” Levi gritted out, letting a hand drop down to the front of his pants. The door to his office was locked and the building dark and silent but for the small office light that lit the room. No one was there but him.

 “And you want me to do something about it?” Erwin asked in confirmation, his voice deep and rough, a tone that Levi could easily see himself getting addicted to.

“What do you think I’m still on the line?” Levi replied, his hand stopping at the button of his jeans and waiting for Erwin to reply.

“You want me to fuck you over the phone, let you listen to my voice while you jack off and whine for my cock like a needy bitch?” Erwin asked, casually reaching into his own pants and feeling himself get aroused at the thought of the cute black-haired barista blushing and stroking his cock at the sound of Erwin’s voice.

 “Yeah, that about covers it,” Levi replied, struggling to form a coherent response after the deep sounds of Erwin’s voice had sent shivers down his spine. His hand was still on the outside of his jeans, waiting for Erwin’s permission to touch himself.

 “I can do that,” Erwin replied casually. “But you’re gonna have to tell me _exactly_ what you want and let your voice do that little breathy thing like you’re holding back a whimper. Fuck, that sound could make me cum.”

“Can I touch myself?” Levi gasped, asking for permission. Erwin growled into the phone line.

“God, I wish I could see you right now, bet you have a fantastic cock,” Erwin groaned, beginning to palm himself. “You can touch yourself.”

“Mmh,” Levi groaned into the phone as he unbuttoned his jeans and began to slowly stroke his cock, biting his lip as he saw pre-cum dribble from the tip. “God, I wanted to fuck you from the moment I saw you.”

“Oh? Have you thought about fucking me since then?” Erwin asked, running his fingers over the thick and throbbing vein in his cock.

“Yes,” Levi confessed, moving his hand faster and groaning at the sensation. “Did last night, thought about you when I was jacking off.”

 “Fuck,” Erwin growled into the receiver, the thought of the shorter man jerking off to his body making his cock twitch with interest in his hand. “You’re a slut, you know that?”

 “Tell me about it,” Levi sighed pleasurably, beginning to suck on one of his fingers.

 “I bet you’re a noisy slut too,” Erwin said into the phone, his voice deep and throaty. “Bet you’d never admit it but I bet you like my cock enough that you’d scream for more as I fucked your ass till you came on my cock alone.”

“Fuck,” Levi managed, moving his finger down to his ass. “Fuck, you’re good at talking dirty.”

 “Tell me what you’re doing,” Erwin replied, his smooth voice stark against the cold command of his voice.

“Mmh, I’m jerking off to your fucking dirty mouth. Gonna finger myself.” Levi moved over his finger and let out a whine as his index finger worked its way into him.

“And how does that feel?” Erwin asked, his voice ragged. He had laid all the way back on the couch and was jerking off in long, firm strokes. Levi was turning him on more than he would have liked to admit.

“Aah, it has that delicious fucking slow burn that isn’t enough to fill me up but is enough to stretch my tight hole,” Levi moaned, moving the finger slowly until he was bounding lightly on it in search of friction. Erwin made a choked noise on the other end of the line and Levi slipped another finger from his mouth and into his ass, moaning.

“Fuck I can hardly wait to fuck you into the fucking mattress and carry you out of the room over my shoulder. You’ll be so fucked out your legs won’t work.” Erwin moved his hand harder, groaning as he twisted his wrist around the head of his dick.

 

“Fuck, I bet your cock is huge,” Levi moaned, curling his fingers and feeling white hot sparks fly across his vision when his fingers hit his prostate. Erwin must have heard the hitch in his breath because his voice dropped to its commanding and dark tone that Levi found so sexy.

 “You’re not wrong. Keep fucking yourself with your fingers and pretend that they are big enough to split you in half. Keep fucking stroking your cock and tell me what you’re thinking about, babydoll.”

“Babydoll…” Levi moaned at the nickname, trying to say something smart-assed about it before his fingers hit his prostate again and made him into a wanton whore again.

“Hmm, you like that don’t you?” Erwin groaned, his head immediately filling with images of Levi in very inappropriate lingerie.

“Hahh…” Levi moved his hand over his cock and moaned, trying to keep balance on his chair. “I’m thinking about tying your hands to the headboard and riding your cock until you’re begging to cum, putting a cock ring on your dick and swallowing you down until you’re whining and begging to come down my throat. Thinking about sitting on your fucking face and watching your smug ass smile get wrecked by my cock down your throat. Thinking about leaving hickeys down your chest as I ride you.”

 “Fuck, _fuck,_ if you keep talking like this I’m gonna cum,” Erwin moaned, the thoughts fluttering through his head. In a moment of horniness bordering on recklessness, Levi took out his cell phone to take a picture of his cock throbbing in his hand, his shirt pushed back to reveal the toned muscles of his abdomen and hips decorated in tattooed pictures of blue birds and mermaids, hitting the send button to Erwin and moaning at the thought of Erwin receiving it.

 “Look at your texts,” Levi said hoarsely after a moment. There was a shuffling sound and then a particularly loud moan.

 “Fuck, you are so hot, I swear to God… I have a fucking weakness for tattoos. Wanna trace them with my tongue.” Erwin’s hand sped up on his cock as he stared at the outlines of Levi’s muscles. “Mmmh, I’m gonna fucking cum, _shit_ Levi…. Levi!!” Erwin came across his hand, shaking with the force of it.

“Ahh, you sound so hot when you come,” Levi’s voice was verging on desperate, fucking himself onto his fingers and stroking his cock hard.

 “Feel your fucking prostate with your fingers and imagine it’s my cock thrusting in and out of your pretty pink hole, fuck baby, that’s it.” Erwin said roughly, his commanding voice gone in favor of a rushed and eager voice, a voice that was desperate to see Levi cum and was one of the hottest things Levi had ever heard.

 Levi came on his hand hard, cum spurting from his cock in white stripes, moaning and shaking loudly from the vivid image of Erwin in his head. After a moment of heavy breathing and a sigh on the other end of the line, Levi sighed into the receiver.

“I’m gonna hang up because I’m sticky as hell and it’s disgusting, but I will call you back tomorrow to see if you can fuck me as well as I think you can,” Levi finally gasped, putting down the receiver and using a tissue from the desk to clean his hand before making his way to the sink, washing his hands vigorously with soap and water until all traces of filth had gone away. Levi could feel the dull ache of sleep beckoning him, and decided (perhaps against his better judgment) to spend the night on the makeshift cot/napping area that Hange had constructed for late nights and early mornings. He would sort out the mess with Erwin tomorrow. He was too tired to do anything but sleep now. As he closed his eyes on the cot and tried as best he could to get comfortable, he could think of nothing but Erwin’s sparkling blue eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my personal tumblr at mylifeistheprogressbar.tumblr.com if you like vintage memes, shitty puns, Rooster Teeth, Haikyuu!!, Free!, Tokyo Ghoul, the Phandom, Game of Thrones, writing help, gay stuff, and more shitty puns.
> 
> Follow me on Instagram: daisyrightsactivist
> 
> I also have a Haikyuu!! headcanon blog at trashtrioheadcanons.tumblr.com that caters to the beauty that is Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou, and Oikawa Tooru.
> 
> I love kudos and comments, so if you wanna see more of something just know that I am motivated mostly through YOUR lovely comments. Thanks for reading!


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